Falling Pregnant, Faith and Beliefs.
As I write this I am about to hop on a plane up to Byron Bay, NSW for one of my dearest friends weddings. It reminds me of a short trip we took only 5 months ago with these same friends to help them scout wedding venues and use the opportunity to escape the cold winter temperatures. It was this very weekend that I found out I was pregnant.
We were only 40 minutes into the 5 hour drive from our rural town to Sydney where we would then board a plane and head up the north coast. I asked Steve to pull over into the next town as I wanted to grab a few things from the pharmacy. He enquired at to what I needed and I responded with “some nail polish remover and a pregnancy test”. His response was a gentle “Oh, ok. No problems”. After collecting a stash of 3 separate tests (just like in the movies) we decided to stop at yet another town 30 minutes later and grab both a coffee and a hot date with their public facilities.
There has been less than a handful of times in my life where I’ve taken a pregnancy test and hoped and prayed the result would come back as negative. Today was not one of those days. For the first time in my life, consumed by a deep feeling of overwhelm, I knew I wanted to be pregnant. I did my business and waited patiently for the response. Three minutes passed by and I finally gave myself the opportunity to look. Two red lines. Positive. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.
I was diagnosed with Poly Cystic Ovary Syndrome at the age of 14 years old. I was then prescribed with the contraceptive pill to help me achieve a ‘regular’ cycle. After taking this medication for almost 10 years and making the decision to stop taking it I then found myself without a menstrual cycle for two years. Majority of health practitioners I had consulted with since a teenager had indicated that falling pregnant naturally may be difficult for me. And I had chosen to take on this belief too.
As I sat on that toilet seat tears of joy began to well up from within. I came out and shared the news with Steve who was also smiling from ear to ear. I took the remaining two tests within a 24 hour period (just to make sure) and was pleasantly surprised to see a positive result for both. At that stage I was about 4 weeks pregnant and it has continued to take a growing physical bump and two ultrasound scans to really believe that I am going to have a baby.
At week 25 the early pregnancy days of nausea and eating nothing but bread and salty crisps seem like a lifetime ago. I am feeling good and adjusting to a life of spandex. As someone who has had a challenging relationship with her body (and occasionally continues to do so) I am leaning into a space of gratitude and total awe for the female body and her ability to create and sustain a human life.
Without getting too woo-woo on you I do believe in divine timing and that everything happens in life precisely in the right moment. I also believe that our thoughts and what we choose to focus on also play in a vital role in how we feel each day. No matter where you are along your on life journey I encourage you to choose thoughts and beliefs that feel empowering and positive to you. You are the narrator of your own life script – no one else.