I have slipped up.
I’ll be honest. My old dieting habits have taken over these last few months. I’ve been attempting to lose weight from a place of body shame and control.
Allow me to preface this quickly. I am all for people setting health related goals that involve nourishing their bodies with whole foods and conscious movement in an effort to feel more vibrant and energetic. However when we feel disgust with our bodies and therefore start to restrict, control, calorie count and go exercise crazy I do not believe this is an empowering and positive path. Trust me – I speak from experience. I spent almost two decades attempting fad diets in an attempt to reach ‘Skinny Heaven’. I truly believed I would be happy once I reached that golden number on the scales. In reality upon reaching this place I was left dissatisfied, full of anxiety and without a menstrual cycle. Go figure.
As women we are consciously + subconsciously bombarded with diet culture and pictures of the ideal women. Eating salads and heading to F45 gym workouts are expected and praising peoples weight loss is considered polite social etiquette. It is easy to lose our way and form the belief that being skinny will lead to a life of happiness, success and love.
After years of healing my relationship with food and my body through mindset work, coaching support, intuitive eating, conscious movement and meditation I felt as though I was in a good place. I help coach women about positive body image – surely I should have my shit together!
However as life has it the last 6 to 12 months have been emotionally exhausting. We are still integrating into a new town, I’m throwing myself head first into my business (which I love) and we have been caring for my late father in law. Amidst all this I’ve realised I have been grasping for certainty and control which has showed up in my eating patterns and body perception. You see our ego’s can be sneaky – what I felt was a journey of exploration through different eating practices in my quest to find balanced energy levels soon turned down a dark path. Brown rice and pumpkin briefly became a No No and I found myself starting to use the scales regularly and even tracking my macros. Oh dear.
Again if you have a desire to release weight and attain a certain physical shape – that is totally cool. As someone who has personally experienced challenges issues with food and her body it is important that I remain conscious and ask myself if I am coming from a place of Love or Fear in my quest for health.
I have reached out to my beautiful friend and Naturopath for some support and have started rereading one of my favourite books Intuitive Eating so I can return to my philosophy of tuning in to my body’s needs and practising conscious eating and movement.
I would love you to take two key messages from reading this.
- INTENTION is everything. Why are you doing something? Are you coming from a place of Love or Fear? Get clear on this.
- IT IS OK TO TAKE A STEP BACKWARDS. In fact, I would not entirely call it a step backwards or even a slip up. Each experience we have is an opportunity to learn and grow. Secret – not every single person on this planet has it together. Even Oprah!
Sending you love and light always,